Before we start, let me preface by saying I know more than I care to know about ADHD and all of it’s fun side kicks…..But, if you can’t make fun of something that can be a challenge, and see the gift in it, then whatever it is you might deal with on a daily basis, is just that much harder.Â With that said…..I have a new, undiagnosed disorder.Â “DADHD”, or Decorating Attention Hyperactivity Disorder.
How do I know I have this disorder? Because I am an expert project starter, finishing is like pulling my teeth out.Â I can finish all kinds of projects for clients, on time, with a smile, and meet deadlines and goals I have set for myself for things I will sell, but my own home?Â It is torture. Â
This isn’t exactly my office, but it may as well be.Â I have a billion ideas running around and playing tag in my head at any given time.Â Sometimes one of them is “it” and it gets to come out and play and actually comes to fruition.Â This is a very satisfying feeling.Â Usually though, I just keep adding to the “idea” board….
I do love my home, it is decorated in my taste, and I have done a TON of the work here, but let’s just say, there are at least three things not completed in each room.Â If you came over, you could play “Where’s Waldo” with “what’s not done” in each room.Â
My usual M.O. is work myself into a frenzy, forget to eat, work some more, run around with kids, work some more, then fall into bed late only to get up, lather, rinse, repeat the whole cycle.Â This was working great for me until something happened.Â MY WHOLE SYSTEM BROKE DOWN.Â Like this:
I had worked for several weeks at an insane pace, ending with trying to completely repaint and redecorate my daughter’s room, before I hopped an airplane to have a vacation with my sisters.Â I almost did it all!Â Vacation was wonderful, relaxed, had fun.Â Then when I headed back home, the problem started.Â Â
Â This is about how I looked on day 5
Suddenly, without warning, I could not sleep, for 5 straight days.Â Let me tell you, it was a form of torture.Â I was so tired by day 5, I actually couldn’t even drive, let alone pick up a paint brush.
After some nice medication from Mr. Sleepy Help Doctor, I was able to start getting myself back on track.Â During the week of torture, I did A LOT of praying and a lot of self examination.Â I realized that just because you can keep up an insane schedule for months on end, does not mean you should.Â I had pushed, and pushed and pushed myself so far that it finally broke down in the only way it knew how to get my attention.Â
I realized starting and stopping and not finishing projects, all the time, is not only annoying to my family, but not good for myself.Â I spent so much of my time being “reactionary”, even with my fine tuned highly calendared Blackberry, I still felt like I was always 10 steps behind my life.
Here is a picture of my security blanket:
I am not cured of DADHD, nor do I think I ever will be, but the trick will be managing it and finding out what the gift of this is.Â I have definitely cut my to-do list in half.Â I have promised myself I absolutely will not start a project in a new room until what I wanted finished in my current room/project is done.Â So far so good (but it has only been 2 weeks).Â Â
I am actually taking a lunch break!Â I take time before my kids get home from school to eat, read, or just have a still moment.Â Who knew how refreshing this could be!Â Â
The gift?Â The creative part of my brain is still firing like crazy, but I am not giving full attention to every thought that goes through it.Â I have actually had more clarity on current projects, how I want them to develop, what the end result will be.Â I am forgiving myself for not getting everything completed on my daily to do list.Â I also have noticed a calmer feeling in our home.Â My kids are still sassy, they still fight, but over all, there is a much more peaceful feeling here.Â Â
Suffering husband might even change his screen name to Happy Husband!Â Â
So what am I thankful for today?Â Having DADHD.Â Just like everything we struggle with, there is a gift that comes with it.Â Sometimes it just takes a week of no sleep to find it! Â
Link up with these gals, they have a linky party where you can say whatever is on your mind, and they comment back.Â Such a cool idea and a great way to make some new friends.Â Â
Here we go:Â